It’s Valentine’s Day and you still don’t have a date. You want a date, but in reality it would be awkward to have a first date on Valentine’s Day anyways. So, you decide whether or not you should hang out with your single friends yet again and at least be single together while the rest of the country celebrates love. But then again, the thought of that makes you despise your singleness even more. So, pjs, popcorn, and Netflix it is! If this resonates at all with you, read on…
So, like most of my blogs as of late, inspiration hits me all of a sudden like a flood and it feels as though I have a message that could help someone out there. Even if it’s just one person, it’s worth it. So, this blog can relate to men as well, but is especially for women like me who are single and over 30. I want to charge you to make this Valentine’s Day different! Don’t let the holiday that is about love be twisted in a way that makes you not love yourself or not love your friends around you who are dating or married.
So sit back, relax, and enjoy the next few minutes of my random, yet related thoughts on the topic:
Celebrate And Be Thankful
I talked about this more in my blog ““Why Am I Still Single?” but briefly again, commit to celebrate others who are dating or married. It may not seem like a fun idea at first, but give it a try. Besides, if you’re stuck in the alternative of that, it probably hasn’t been such a fun experience for you anyways. It also reminds me of something that one of our worship leaders, Steffany Gretzinger, said in regards to worship: “Sometimes you worship because you believe it; sometimes you worship until you do.” This can also be said of celebrating others, celebrating yourself, being thankful, or even worshipping God out of thanks for your future spouse. Sometimes, we worship because we believe in His promises for our lives and sometimes we worship until we do. Sometimes we celebrate our friends because we are genuinely happy for them and sometimes we celebrate until we are. You fill in the blank. Yes, my normal righthand BFF is now dating and will be with her incredible man on Valentine’s Day, but you know what? I am SO SO happy about that. I will miss being single with her, but we have prayed together so many times for this moment and now that it is happening, I could not be happier for her! How could I even despise at all the very thing that I prayed would happen? Celebrate and give thanks!
“Sometimes you worship because you believe it; sometimes you worship until you do.” ~Steffany Gretzinger, Bethel Music
Know Your Worth
I too am familiar with relationship pain. I remember many years ago dating an incredible man and one day, all of sudden, it was over. Naturally, I was devastated. However, something had changed and he didn’t pursue me like he used to when we first met. It’s like he decided to stop winning my heart. I was driving home one day, tears streaming down my face, and just crying out to God.. “Why was I not worth fighting for?” As clear as a sun breaking through the clouds on a stormy day, I heard God speak to me and say, “You aren’t just worth fighting for, you were worth dying for.” I was undone and cried some more, but this time not out of a place of rejection, but because of love. Look inside. If all you see are the reasons that you “aren’t worthy of love” then look a little harder until you find Jesus in there who has a different story.
Be Convinced That Hope Does Not Disappoint
To all of you who’ve experienced rejection or repeated disappointment, I want you to really hear me on this and read to the end. I want you to dare to get your hopes up. Fly them higher than ever before! If we believe that the word of God is true, then HOPE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT!
“But Angela, I got my hopes up about this relationship and then it didn’t work out, so I’m not going to hope ever again.” Yes, I KNOW that feeling all too well. But, HOPE does not disappoint. Follow me for a minute. When you were in hope, how did it make you feel? You may have been nervous, but also the hope (expectation of good) of something happening most likely made you excited and happy. When you were full of hope, you were also full of joy. So then, disappointment happened, rejection showed up, and you no longer felt that joy. Let’s get something straight. Hope makes you feel hopeful. Disappointment makes you feel disappointed. Rejection makes you feel rejected. Hope never causes those last two things. It may be risky to hope; often times it is. Some may say, “Well if I just never hoped, I’d never be disappointed.” I guess if you want to truly believe that, you probably are already choosing to live in disappointment. There’s simply a more life-giving alternative…choose HOPE..dare to believe yet again!
“Hope does not disappoint.” Romans 5:5
Get Lost in Love Stories
So, you may be thinking this is an invitation to binge on Hallmark movies and fictional fairy tales, well it’s not that AT ALL. Like many of my friends, we have a high value for testimonies, which could also be known as success stories. They are stories of hope and inspiration, but even so much more. Testimonies carry with them the power to see it repeated. If it happened once, it could happen again. We see this all of the time in our Healing Rooms where people come from all over the world to receive prayer when they are sick. One day, a woman was sharing how she felt a lump in her breast go down in size after she received prayer. As she is sharing this, in real-time now, a man a few rows up from her, points to his wrists and emphatically exclaims that the cysts on his hands were shrinking! Now, that’s the power of the testimony (and it’s Biblical in case you were wondering. See Revelation 19:10). If someone has cancer, they look for stories of people who’ve beaten the odds. So why is it any different when it comes to love stories? I know many who would avoid hearing about someone’s relationship success because it ignites pain. What if the very thing to ignite love for you would be to actually sit closer to the fire of someone else’s love? My advice, feast on their stories and receive them as hope and faith for yourself.
“What if the very thing to ignite love for you would be to actually sit closer to the fire of someone else’s love?”
Get New Glasses
There’s a short teaching by Graham Cooke that I LOVE which is on perspective and the way we think and look at things. It’s called “The Art of Thinking Brilliantly”. Basically it takes you through looking at your situation differently. Cue a rom com scene…We see people in love and we are sad or disappointed that we aren’t there yet. We dream about those scenes in “Serendipity” happening for us. Then, if we could be honest with ourselves, we even wonder if it will EVER happen to us at all. Thinking about it can even make us more sad. You know what I say to that? What if we didn’t get sad? What if we chose another way? What if we decided to not let those lies and influences in to our hearts? So as I close, go visit that link from Graham and let him take you on a journey from looking at your situation with fear or sadness to even being excited for the adventure that awaits and the love story that is unfolding behind the scenes for you!
Happy Valentine’s Day!